


100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-06
Updated: 2007-01-06
Packaged: 2019-01-19 19:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12416214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: 100 ways to make Lily mad at James . . . and one more. (Lots of awesomely boss pick-up lines!)





	100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

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_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

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**100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More**

_By: Eternal Love LJ_

Chapter 1: 1-20

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**Summary: The first twenty lines from James's bleeding heart. Oh, woe is James.**

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James: "Miss Evans, you look absolutely ravenous today!"

Lily: "What!"

James: "Ravenous. You know . . ."

Lily: "Do you mean _ravishing_?"

James: "Umm . . . maybe."

Lily: "You better."

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James: "Me. You. Hogsmeade. Now."

Lily: "Potter, get a life."

James: "Fine. Me. You. My dorm. Now."

Lily: "Sheesh."

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James: "Hey, Evans, feeling all right? Because I know that I'm not. See, I have a fever."

Lily: "That's wonderful."

James: "And the only cure is you!"

Lily: _Walks away_.

James: "Wait!"

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James: "Evans, I have my head in a cloud. I'm thinking of you."

Lily: "I hope it rains today."

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James: "Evans! Come here often?"

Lily: "What's that supposed to mean?"

James: "I have no idea, but some people think it's a good pick-up line."

Lily: "Black?"

James: "Yeah . . ."

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James: "Oh! Where are my sunglasses?"

Lily: "We're in the common room. Why do you need sunglasses?"

James: "Because you are so luminous today."

Lily: "Give up, Potter."

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Lily: "Don't even start today, Potter."

James: "But . . . all the time is a good time to ask you out."

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James: "The string around my heart gets tighter and tighter every day without you, my beautiful Evans."

Lily: "Maybe it'll kill you one day."

James: "I love you too, darling."

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James: "Hark! I have an idea!"

Lily: "Amazing."

James: "Let's pretend that it's opposite day."

Lily: "Let's start with you not asking me  
out."

James: "Damn."

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James: "Every day without your love is like a day without air."

Lily: "I guess you'll die of lack of oxygen soon, then."

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James: "Evans, you're full of sugar and spice and everything nice."

Lily: "You know why you have brown eyes? Because you're full of shit!"

James: "I have hazel eyes, thank you very much!"

Lily: "Yeah, I know, but saying you're full of shit because you have hazel eyes doesn't make all that much sense."

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James: "You smell."

Lily: "Oh my God, like what?" _Checks underarms_.

James: "Good! You smell good! Merlin, Evans."

Lily: "Wow, you're _really_ getting better at this, Potter."

James: "Why, thank you, Evans!."

Lily: "Sarcasm!"

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James: "If I could chose just one word to describe you, I would chose 'supercalafragalisticexbealodocious'."

Lily: "Umm, and why would you chose that word?"

James: "Because . . . well, it's long, and it sounds cool . . ."

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James: "Evans? I'm running out of pick-up lines."

Lily: "Already?"

James: "No! I was kidding!"

Lily: "Darn."

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James: _Five seconds later_. "Are you wearing space pants? Because you're ass is out of this world!"

Lily: "Oh God."

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James: "Evans! Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?"

Lily: "Are you saying that I'm a prostitute?"

James: "Well, I hope not, but if that's how it is . . ."

Lily: "Get lost."

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James: "Hey, Evans! I can see you."

Lily: "That's great, Potter."

James: "Great! How about tomorrow?"

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James: "Hey, Evans, hey! Come here!"

Lily: _Walks over slowly_. "Yeah?"

James: "There are 265 bones in your body. Want one more?"

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James: "Evans, I have changed my name to Milk!"

Lily: "Why?"

James: "Because I do the body good!"

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James: "You know, Evans, I barely even ask you out anymore. I just . . . say pick-up lines."

Lily: "Wow. No way."

James: "Do you wanna go out?"

Lily: "Yeah."

James: "OH MY GOD, REALLY?"

Lily: "No."

James: "Drat."

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**A/n: There you go! The first 20! I hope you liked it! Tell me your favorite.**


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